Air banjo or indecent act

Posted: March 7, 2012 in British jobs for British workers, Law & Disorder

Someone sent me a link to a Daily Mail story about a man charged with indecency when he was in fact air strumming a banjo up against a woman’s leg.

What a waste of taxpayers money and court time deciding if this man was a J.Arthur Ranker. Surely a police caution would have been good enough after telling his wife what he was up to of course.

Melvyn Webb accused of indecency on a train walked free after telling a court he was strumming an imaginary banjo. The jury of eight women and four men took three hours and 40 minutes to clear him by a majority verdict on Monday after a two day trial.

Before Webb, was acquitted, the judge in his trial had informed the jury that men do sometimes innocently ‘fiddle with themselves in public’. Must be talking from experience then.

At first Mr Webb, 54, denied a single charge of outraging public decency on the 7.08am Basingstoke to Reading train, saying he was merely adjusting his underwear. If he had been a quicker thinker he could have said he was rummaging for his ticket in case the guard came along. I take it trains still have guards the last time I was on a train it was driven by steam.

Anyway after his arrest, the health and safety adviser told police: ‘For my sins I play the banjo, so sometimes I do, with my hands, pick out a pattern on my knees.’
I’ve heard it all now, playing an air banjo, what a rock and roll life style he must lead when not adjusting his underwear.

The woman, who was listening to music on her iPod, was alerted when she felt movement against her leg and took out her headphones to hear Mr Webb’s heavy breathing, the court heard.

She said: ‘I thought “he’s not doing what I think he’s doing”. I thought “no way” and looked over at him and my eyes carried on up. He was facing me, breathing heavily and snarling.’ The prosecution claimed no one sits next to a woman on a train adjusting their underwear in public.

Reading Crown Court heard Mr Webb supposedly had a respiratory tract infection, which he blamed for the heavy breathing on the day of his alleged crime last August.

Still the jurors got a laugh out of it as Mr Webb was called on to mime his plucking, positioning the newspaper over his hand and tapping his fingers on his knee.

Air strumming banjo player adjusting his underwear or handle and cranker, you decide.

Another illegal working 7 plus 1

Eight illegal workers have been caught in Bridgend by the UK Border Agency, including seven men at a single restaurant in the town centre. Yes 7 in one restaurant!

UKBA officers went to Ashoka in Nolton Street at 17:45 on Saturday 3rd March. They checked the immigration status of staff and seven men from Bangladesh were found to have no right to work in the UK. Three had stayed in the country illegally after their visas expired, two had entered the UK illegally, one was working in breach of the conditions of his visa, and one was a failed asylum seeker.

Six of them were arrested and taken to Cardiff Bay police station for further questioning. They were later transferred to immigration detention pending their removal from the UK.
The failed asylum seeker was not arrested so he’s free to go and find illegal work somewhere else.

The plus 1 Indian illegal worker was caught at AK Mini Market in Longfellow Drive and remains in immigration detention pending his removal from the country.

There’s more

If that eight aren’t enough eleven immigration offenders have been caught in a series of raids across Glasgow.

UKBA officers accompanied by Strathclyde police targeted Chinese and Indian takeaways in Glasgow to question staff and ensure they had the right to work in the UK.

At the Supercook Chinese takeaway on Dalmarnock Road two Chinese men aged 44 and 29 were arrested and another three Chinese men aged between 23 and 36 were arrested at the New Manor Garden in Baljaffray Shopping Centre.

A 42-year-old Indian man was arrested at the Curry King on Bridgeton Cross and further arrests were also made at other premises; a 21-year-old Indian man at Spice Chilli in Baljaffray Shopping Centre, Milngavie; a 29-year-old Indian man at 7 Spices on Carntyne Road; and two Indian men aged 30 and 26 at Classic India on Douglas Street, Milngavie.

A 20-year old Pakistani man was also arrested at the Spice Garden on London Road.

Gretna Green has lost its romance

On Tuesday 28th and Wednesday 29th February, UKBA officers investigated weddings due to take place at the Gretna registration office.

In the first case, an Indian man who was due to be married to a British woman was found to be in the UK illegally. He is currently in detention, while arrangements are made to return him to India.

In the second case, a woman from Mauritius was due to marry a Polish man. She and her daughter, who was due to act as a witness to the marriage, were found to be in the UK illegally. They too are both in detention, pending their removal to Mauritius.

Cor blimey looks like we’ll need a Jumbo Jet to get all those illegal workers and sham marriage people back to India..

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Comments
  1. Hey there, hope all is well. You mind sharing the name of your current theme? I would appreciate it much. Have a blessed afternoon.

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