Chav

Posted: March 22, 2011 in General

IlieThe Chav, or Burberry Trogladyte (to use the correct anthropological phrase), is a subspecies of the human race that has become unfortunately far too common, as they breed like rabbits. These creatures are easily distinguishable; they tend gather in groups in towns, particularly shopping precincts, they talk some kind of bastard dialect of their own devising, the most important words being ‘innit’, ‘bruv’ and ‘bare’. Several variants of this have been identified and most contain elements of black American culture. This is in spite of the fact that there is no evidence that any chav has ever figured out how to cross the Atlantic, except in the Great Chav Drowning of 1920, in which some of them washed up in New York but were supposedly lynched upon arrival. They tend to wear Adidas or Nike sports gear with white trainers and have baseball caps – frequently Burberry – permanently welded onto their heads at birth.

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